phthalombrage (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
phthalombrage) wrote2008-11-07 10:53 am
phthalombrage) wrote2008-11-07 10:53 am
(no subject)
This year I am actually somehow looking forward to break. Sort of dreading the inevitable call from my boss asking me to work full-time, but maybe he's got things covered? In any case, he's a nice guy. And even if I work for him, even if it is full-time, it won't be more than I've been doing lately. No homework, either.
The people I used to truly enjoy talking to aren't online anymore or simply don't talk to me anymore... but I can see some of them when I go back to FL. It's been a long time since I've had a good conversation, and my brain is tired of all the math and chemistry and programming it does all the time. All the time. These were never its favourite centers of activity. I need to catch up in general with what mortals do. (I have traded in my humanity for academic zombiedom, a soulless, passionless hunger for knowledge. I was always too much the perfectionist, and now it seems to be that for its own sake.)
I want to go back to some of the many sprouting dance studios that the wind blew away from the explosion of the one where I grew up for fifteen years. I have a time step to show Cynthia, and I suppose I am sort of a role model and should take a class or two with the high school kids and talk about dancing in college as a nonmajor and work with small professional companies. I'm making pilgrimage to the high school nearly all my teachers have abandoned to evangelize (not really) about Carnegie Mellon, as I'm the only PV alum in over a decade to attend. Doubt it will draw anyone here, but I'll do it again.
Also, it will be warm. I won't have to bundle up or huddle in front of my space heater in the morning. I won't have to wake up super early so I can shower in actually warm water (downstairs always gets the bulk of the hot water if someone else is showering). There are laundry machines. My parents pay the bills and go shopping. When I am busy, somebody has made dinner or there is some prepackaged microwaveable food that I can eat. I can use a car to get places fast, without pedaling uphill or standing next to creepy dudes on the bus (although I do plan to ride along on my dad's bus route at least one day). My godfather will bring the paper on Sundays. Living off-campus really is different.
For once I want things to be convenient. For once I want to sleep. And I have affairs to get in order, cleaning my room, buying pants without holes.
I am physically and emotionally exhausted.
The people I used to truly enjoy talking to aren't online anymore or simply don't talk to me anymore... but I can see some of them when I go back to FL. It's been a long time since I've had a good conversation, and my brain is tired of all the math and chemistry and programming it does all the time. All the time. These were never its favourite centers of activity. I need to catch up in general with what mortals do. (I have traded in my humanity for academic zombiedom, a soulless, passionless hunger for knowledge. I was always too much the perfectionist, and now it seems to be that for its own sake.)
I want to go back to some of the many sprouting dance studios that the wind blew away from the explosion of the one where I grew up for fifteen years. I have a time step to show Cynthia, and I suppose I am sort of a role model and should take a class or two with the high school kids and talk about dancing in college as a nonmajor and work with small professional companies. I'm making pilgrimage to the high school nearly all my teachers have abandoned to evangelize (not really) about Carnegie Mellon, as I'm the only PV alum in over a decade to attend. Doubt it will draw anyone here, but I'll do it again.
Also, it will be warm. I won't have to bundle up or huddle in front of my space heater in the morning. I won't have to wake up super early so I can shower in actually warm water (downstairs always gets the bulk of the hot water if someone else is showering). There are laundry machines. My parents pay the bills and go shopping. When I am busy, somebody has made dinner or there is some prepackaged microwaveable food that I can eat. I can use a car to get places fast, without pedaling uphill or standing next to creepy dudes on the bus (although I do plan to ride along on my dad's bus route at least one day). My godfather will bring the paper on Sundays. Living off-campus really is different.
For once I want things to be convenient. For once I want to sleep. And I have affairs to get in order, cleaning my room, buying pants without holes.
I am physically and emotionally exhausted.
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