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Apr. 19th, 2008 04:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
phthalombrageParties always make me realize just how weird I am. Even at KGB parties, I am the awkward one.
I love the KGB. I feel like I can say this because the KGB is not an entity that can take offense to this or love me back. All the geekery has been channeled into this abstract category that partly removes it from its membership, but it's still all there in the people themselves. Competitive Scrabble? All things Google? Of all the things for which I've had to wear a name badge that I forgot about when I went to go get food afterward, this was probably my favorite and the most laid-back. Although CAC was pretty sweet, and I do love my Congres, but you have to understand that I was sitting there feeling awkward about silverware and becca recca secca is at the table saying something about "parents and parentoids" with her seriously adorable spawn seated beside her with a little toy fire truck repeating "geeks!" after somebody making a speech and nobody cares that I gave away the wrong coffee cup and held the strawberries from on top of the creme brulee in my fingers as I bit into them. I felt pretty connected to them, as CMU students, as nerds, as KGBers, and the generation gap was WAAAY less awkward than I had expected. It's good to know that while you are milling about awkwardly looking for a place to settle in, there are other awkward sharks circling these waters. They are still awesome kids, evil geniuses, but by day they may look like normal adults to the untrained eye. Correspondence is in order. I do this when my life sucks and great things come. Or sometimes my friend Tay does it for me. I may stick it up here if I feel like it.
(In other of my correspondence, my roommate was apparently way easier to talk to in my early emails with her than she has ever been in person. She even seemed like a person. It's weird. Also, I forgot she's almost twenty-one, god damn it, and still surrounds herself in pink plastic and wears ruffly pajamas and horrible squeaky sandals with pooh and piglet on them, ew.)
Empty-ish rooms, random acquaintances, and Creepy Drunk Guy (oh god) kind of set the tone for a while, but I relaxed as I got more tired.
I kind of wanted to see jacobo and zsparks make out, after jacobo said he had done this before drunk.
Then I kind of wanted to be a man because mkehrt and akiva looked like such good friends and were even wearing the same colors, and I was vaguely jealous, and I felt like it's never the same if you're a girl.
Apparently being tired around too many people and alcohol fumes makes me think like I am drunk.
Walking home was nice. It was funny how Connor was trying to arrange me a ride and told me to call if something happened. And I hadn't checked my email in way too long. Oh, CMU...
Gotta wake up bright and early tomorrow for teardown. Although I do realize, since Rigel so kindly pointed it out to me, that the way I've been thinking this week (better pee now when I can so I get to sometime today) probably means I am overworking myself and have unreasonable expectations of what I am supposed to do. Yep!
Also: Where the fuck did all these daffodils come from? I'm pretty sure the tulips are a concoction of CMU groundskeeping, but daffodils are everywhere. And the grass is so green: when I was sitting there for 40 minutes waiting for the CivE group that never came, I was staring at this field of gorgeous soft green grass without fire ants in it that looked like warm weather and youth and the kids on it looked happy and like college (oh, the frat quad where Mal goes to get drunk...) Why do people think Florida is so beautiful? I get some of it, but springtime there is just like any other time, and I have never seen actual daffodils, only drawn them from photographs and made them out of origami.
I love the KGB. I feel like I can say this because the KGB is not an entity that can take offense to this or love me back. All the geekery has been channeled into this abstract category that partly removes it from its membership, but it's still all there in the people themselves. Competitive Scrabble? All things Google? Of all the things for which I've had to wear a name badge that I forgot about when I went to go get food afterward, this was probably my favorite and the most laid-back. Although CAC was pretty sweet, and I do love my Congres, but you have to understand that I was sitting there feeling awkward about silverware and becca recca secca is at the table saying something about "parents and parentoids" with her seriously adorable spawn seated beside her with a little toy fire truck repeating "geeks!" after somebody making a speech and nobody cares that I gave away the wrong coffee cup and held the strawberries from on top of the creme brulee in my fingers as I bit into them. I felt pretty connected to them, as CMU students, as nerds, as KGBers, and the generation gap was WAAAY less awkward than I had expected. It's good to know that while you are milling about awkwardly looking for a place to settle in, there are other awkward sharks circling these waters. They are still awesome kids, evil geniuses, but by day they may look like normal adults to the untrained eye. Correspondence is in order. I do this when my life sucks and great things come. Or sometimes my friend Tay does it for me. I may stick it up here if I feel like it.
(In other of my correspondence, my roommate was apparently way easier to talk to in my early emails with her than she has ever been in person. She even seemed like a person. It's weird. Also, I forgot she's almost twenty-one, god damn it, and still surrounds herself in pink plastic and wears ruffly pajamas and horrible squeaky sandals with pooh and piglet on them, ew.)
Empty-ish rooms, random acquaintances, and Creepy Drunk Guy (oh god) kind of set the tone for a while, but I relaxed as I got more tired.
I kind of wanted to see jacobo and zsparks make out, after jacobo said he had done this before drunk.
Then I kind of wanted to be a man because mkehrt and akiva looked like such good friends and were even wearing the same colors, and I was vaguely jealous, and I felt like it's never the same if you're a girl.
Apparently being tired around too many people and alcohol fumes makes me think like I am drunk.
Walking home was nice. It was funny how Connor was trying to arrange me a ride and told me to call if something happened. And I hadn't checked my email in way too long. Oh, CMU...
Gotta wake up bright and early tomorrow for teardown. Although I do realize, since Rigel so kindly pointed it out to me, that the way I've been thinking this week (better pee now when I can so I get to sometime today) probably means I am overworking myself and have unreasonable expectations of what I am supposed to do. Yep!
Also: Where the fuck did all these daffodils come from? I'm pretty sure the tulips are a concoction of CMU groundskeeping, but daffodils are everywhere. And the grass is so green: when I was sitting there for 40 minutes waiting for the CivE group that never came, I was staring at this field of gorgeous soft green grass without fire ants in it that looked like warm weather and youth and the kids on it looked happy and like college (oh, the frat quad where Mal goes to get drunk...) Why do people think Florida is so beautiful? I get some of it, but springtime there is just like any other time, and I have never seen actual daffodils, only drawn them from photographs and made them out of origami.
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Date: 2008-04-21 12:12 am (UTC)Also, Akiva and Mkehrt are basically the same person. It's very unique, and kinda weird :-P