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Nov. 15th, 2005 10:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
phthalombrageHeather Howard doesn't know my name. She kept calling me Lauren. She thinks I'm Lauren Phillippi.
Then again, my grandma calls me Hope.
The old lady who used to live next door called me Michelle.
Ginny called me Doodad... but that's another story.
I don't care, but it never ceases to amaze me that people can forget such basic information.
It's one thing to slip up occasionally, but throughout the course of the long dinner sitting next to Heather, she called me Lauren several times.
I'm not scandalized.
I actually prefer anonymity to some extent. A pretty big extent, to tell the truth.
But wow.
On the other hand, Kelsey Shaw spelled my last name right. Nobody ever manages to do that.
1. THE THINGS THEY CARRIED:
Every time she raises her hand, Janoff tells her to put it down.
She calls on people who just raised their hands.
Finally she calls on her, but she's changed the question.
She has to answer the new question.
Then she has a long, burning list of ideas scrawled in her notebook.
Janoff continues to call on people who make trite comments.
She's pretty sure her face was contorted in some way.
She wants her to at least have the chance to shoot down her ideas.
She's second in line to speak 15 minutes before the period ends.
Janoff never gets to her.
Instead she reads about 3 excerpts aloud and makes up new questions she lets other people answer.
She can't just butt into conversations.
Even when she tries, other people keep talking over her anyway.
2. LOVE:
I've never told this story to anyone before.
As Sasha would say, I'm sorry.
3. SPIN:
What if I'm too sexy for my soul? Would I be Dr. Faustus?
4. ON THE RAINY RIVER:
Declotter would be a bloody awful job.
No Casse-Tete this year due to late registration.
We're seventh on the waiting list, so if seven schools drop out, we're in.
Barylski has qualms about even going to Congres this year if we don't have a clear shot at total domination.
5. ENEMIES:
God Hates Sweden.
God Hates Fags.
God Hates America.
God Hates YOU.
6. FRIENDS:
They're hyper-chouette.
7. HOW TO TELL A TRUE WAR STORY:
Melody told me to repark Paul's car so I did.
We had a whole story going too.
I taught her how to drive?
He doesn't like when people drive his car? But he's not mad.
Everyone knew it was I.
Later in the parking lot...
Melody leapt out like a flying squirrel and scraped her knee.
Leah's stain pen was of no use.
Mr. Dacey had a band-aid.
Whta's the moral?
8. THE DENTIST:
Dani likes cheese snacks.
Justin discussed Trivial Pursuit.
You won't get any of this.
9. SWEETHEART OF THE SONG TRA BONG
A dog stands on Paul's shoulder.
Sasha takes a photo. Everyone else gets out camera phones.
The next time I see the dog, it's pooping.
Dogs are special.
10. STOCKINGS (STALKINGS):
I knew where Anna was. Josh too.
11. CHURCH:
Bibleman and the Breastplate of Righteousness. The Sword of Spirit? The Helmet of Truth?
(erm, this next bit is irrelevant, but it fit chronologically)
Paul is concerned that Josh needed a ride, but flies out of the parking lot like quicksilver. (quickblack)(smiths! silver slaves. American video.)I didn't even notice them leave.
So Sasha and I go to Latin Club and get scolded by Mr. Goffard.
John is pissed too.
NPR distracts, and we are off.
12. THE MAN I KILLED:
We arrive at the mall only to discover that Nicole has forgotten Heather.
We return to Pine View.
13. AMBUSH:
I found a stick near Administration.
We try to jump over the stick.
A gigantic spider is suspended on its web near the shell lot.
Heather is deathly arachniphobic, but being the intelligent, tactful kid that I am, I say "Look, a spider!"
She cries, I feel worse.
I throw the stick at the spider.
It later becomes a cane.
14. STYLE:
We look at shiny things.
I'm definitely getting Percival a rhinestone mouse.
We discuss how Playboy and its merchandise defiles 13 year old girls.
We see big phallic pinatas. Awkward section of the store.
And a large picture of Ariande.
We look at purses for Leah. (The Barbie poodle is by far the best. Unzip an animal's back and stick in.. one lipstick? a piece of candy?)
And shoes. Anna finds some sparkly teal Anna shoes.
The smell of leather has a wide fanbase.
15. SPEAKING OF COURAGE (THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY, A FLASHBACK):
We saw a crumpled orange piece of fabric in the street.
It was a construction vest.
The traffic light turned red.
Sasha jumped out of the car and fetched it.
There were no cars behind us.
She was safe.
Josh wore the vest to the mall and possibly the school board meeting.
16. NOTES (TARD-INESS):
Heather freaks because we're going to be late.
I get us there a half hour late, sharp.
17. IN THE FIELD:
It's night at the round table.
We sit around a long time.
Apparently there was an officers' table. I wasn't invited.
Stefan Lowe is very quiet. Heather is not, but it's kinda fun to listen to her.
We ate.
The salad had cranberries in it. Yay.
18. GOOD FORM:
I walk up with the inductees since I missed last year's ceremony.
Raluca and Maria and Kelcey and Nina and Melody and everyone else are awesome.
We're predominantly female. Rob is the only other junior inductee, and he's actually being inducted.
Une personne qui parle deux langues en vaut deux.
My candle only has a tiny flame and Melody laughs. I have to relight it.
I blow out my impotent candle and sign the register.
I notice that my wick is now curled up like the mountain in the Nightmare Before Christmas.
Melody photographs it.
19. FIELD TRIP:
I pass Flex on the way home, at the time I would have been pulling out of their parking lot.
20. THE GHOST SOLDIERS:
Reminds me, Jennifer miscarried and had surgery to remove the fetus last week.
She would have given birth during recital though...
And she also miscarried in July.
Pregnancy was why she was always feeling sick.
Her husband fainted during her Ultrasound.
21. NIGHT LIFE:
My mom tells me what's for dinner.
I tell her I just ate.
She's clueless.
She says that Myers is worried about my schedule, but glad I didn't fall asleep today.
I'm not as narcoleptic as Nathan yet.
I find a college application book on my bed. From Jim, and I know it because neither of my parents go to Barnes and Noble.
My brother totally spams PVSpeech. Loser.
I'm ashamed of him for him.
22. THE LIVES OF THE DEAD:
Yeah, I'll do my homework now.
Then maybe read about Andrew Jackson. Ajax. Old Hickory. Old dead hick. Ory.
Then again, my grandma calls me Hope.
The old lady who used to live next door called me Michelle.
Ginny called me Doodad... but that's another story.
I don't care, but it never ceases to amaze me that people can forget such basic information.
It's one thing to slip up occasionally, but throughout the course of the long dinner sitting next to Heather, she called me Lauren several times.
I'm not scandalized.
I actually prefer anonymity to some extent. A pretty big extent, to tell the truth.
But wow.
On the other hand, Kelsey Shaw spelled my last name right. Nobody ever manages to do that.
1. THE THINGS THEY CARRIED:
Every time she raises her hand, Janoff tells her to put it down.
She calls on people who just raised their hands.
Finally she calls on her, but she's changed the question.
She has to answer the new question.
Then she has a long, burning list of ideas scrawled in her notebook.
Janoff continues to call on people who make trite comments.
She's pretty sure her face was contorted in some way.
She wants her to at least have the chance to shoot down her ideas.
She's second in line to speak 15 minutes before the period ends.
Janoff never gets to her.
Instead she reads about 3 excerpts aloud and makes up new questions she lets other people answer.
She can't just butt into conversations.
Even when she tries, other people keep talking over her anyway.
2. LOVE:
I've never told this story to anyone before.
As Sasha would say, I'm sorry.
3. SPIN:
What if I'm too sexy for my soul? Would I be Dr. Faustus?
4. ON THE RAINY RIVER:
Declotter would be a bloody awful job.
No Casse-Tete this year due to late registration.
We're seventh on the waiting list, so if seven schools drop out, we're in.
Barylski has qualms about even going to Congres this year if we don't have a clear shot at total domination.
5. ENEMIES:
God Hates Sweden.
God Hates Fags.
God Hates America.
God Hates YOU.
6. FRIENDS:
They're hyper-chouette.
7. HOW TO TELL A TRUE WAR STORY:
Melody told me to repark Paul's car so I did.
We had a whole story going too.
I taught her how to drive?
He doesn't like when people drive his car? But he's not mad.
Everyone knew it was I.
Later in the parking lot...
Melody leapt out like a flying squirrel and scraped her knee.
Leah's stain pen was of no use.
Mr. Dacey had a band-aid.
Whta's the moral?
8. THE DENTIST:
Dani likes cheese snacks.
Justin discussed Trivial Pursuit.
You won't get any of this.
9. SWEETHEART OF THE SONG TRA BONG
A dog stands on Paul's shoulder.
Sasha takes a photo. Everyone else gets out camera phones.
The next time I see the dog, it's pooping.
Dogs are special.
10. STOCKINGS (STALKINGS):
I knew where Anna was. Josh too.
11. CHURCH:
Bibleman and the Breastplate of Righteousness. The Sword of Spirit? The Helmet of Truth?
(erm, this next bit is irrelevant, but it fit chronologically)
Paul is concerned that Josh needed a ride, but flies out of the parking lot like quicksilver. (quickblack)(smiths! silver slaves. American video.)I didn't even notice them leave.
So Sasha and I go to Latin Club and get scolded by Mr. Goffard.
John is pissed too.
NPR distracts, and we are off.
12. THE MAN I KILLED:
We arrive at the mall only to discover that Nicole has forgotten Heather.
We return to Pine View.
13. AMBUSH:
I found a stick near Administration.
We try to jump over the stick.
A gigantic spider is suspended on its web near the shell lot.
Heather is deathly arachniphobic, but being the intelligent, tactful kid that I am, I say "Look, a spider!"
She cries, I feel worse.
I throw the stick at the spider.
It later becomes a cane.
14. STYLE:
We look at shiny things.
I'm definitely getting Percival a rhinestone mouse.
We discuss how Playboy and its merchandise defiles 13 year old girls.
We see big phallic pinatas. Awkward section of the store.
And a large picture of Ariande.
We look at purses for Leah. (The Barbie poodle is by far the best. Unzip an animal's back and stick in.. one lipstick? a piece of candy?)
And shoes. Anna finds some sparkly teal Anna shoes.
The smell of leather has a wide fanbase.
15. SPEAKING OF COURAGE (THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY, A FLASHBACK):
We saw a crumpled orange piece of fabric in the street.
It was a construction vest.
The traffic light turned red.
Sasha jumped out of the car and fetched it.
There were no cars behind us.
She was safe.
Josh wore the vest to the mall and possibly the school board meeting.
16. NOTES (TARD-INESS):
Heather freaks because we're going to be late.
I get us there a half hour late, sharp.
17. IN THE FIELD:
It's night at the round table.
We sit around a long time.
Apparently there was an officers' table. I wasn't invited.
Stefan Lowe is very quiet. Heather is not, but it's kinda fun to listen to her.
We ate.
The salad had cranberries in it. Yay.
18. GOOD FORM:
I walk up with the inductees since I missed last year's ceremony.
Raluca and Maria and Kelcey and Nina and Melody and everyone else are awesome.
We're predominantly female. Rob is the only other junior inductee, and he's actually being inducted.
Une personne qui parle deux langues en vaut deux.
My candle only has a tiny flame and Melody laughs. I have to relight it.
I blow out my impotent candle and sign the register.
I notice that my wick is now curled up like the mountain in the Nightmare Before Christmas.
Melody photographs it.
19. FIELD TRIP:
I pass Flex on the way home, at the time I would have been pulling out of their parking lot.
20. THE GHOST SOLDIERS:
Reminds me, Jennifer miscarried and had surgery to remove the fetus last week.
She would have given birth during recital though...
And she also miscarried in July.
Pregnancy was why she was always feeling sick.
Her husband fainted during her Ultrasound.
21. NIGHT LIFE:
My mom tells me what's for dinner.
I tell her I just ate.
She's clueless.
She says that Myers is worried about my schedule, but glad I didn't fall asleep today.
I'm not as narcoleptic as Nathan yet.
I find a college application book on my bed. From Jim, and I know it because neither of my parents go to Barnes and Noble.
My brother totally spams PVSpeech. Loser.
I'm ashamed of him for him.
22. THE LIVES OF THE DEAD:
Yeah, I'll do my homework now.
Then maybe read about Andrew Jackson. Ajax. Old Hickory. Old dead hick. Ory.
