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Nov. 25th, 2005 11:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
phthalombrageI'll want to remember all this.
I was almost right.
I started out on a chair, but it was rather small and uncomfortable, so I retired to the floor. I did sleep on the floor, but only after failing at sleeping in a wicker armchair.
My brother was being a Reilly. He took the couch.
There were 29 of us on Thursday.
I have a new grandma. It's a huge surprise and not a surprise at all. They had been engaged for 28 years.
And my dad's aunt's husband's sister's daughters both married black men. That's why his cousin Karen never warmed up to my dad's nigger jokes. But Karen and Jody are really nice, even if they feel bad for not being a "hug, I love you" family (none of us are). And Heather is awesome. She and her husband used to be in the armed forces in Bosnia. Now they're vegetarians with interests in fitness, Wal-Mart, Bill Maher, and real estate. Hence, my parents found it easy to talk to her.
My second cousins Chris and Mike both have bands. My brother played some things on his violin, then Grandma's old accordion.
Since I don't have any real estate, diseases, dogs, boyfriend, experience in Catholic school, or particular musical talent to talk about, I didn't say much at all.
My great-aunt Dot offered me this huge glass of Bailey's.
Her 18-year-old son was drinking beer after beer starting at 10 in the morning.
Cousin Paddy still has an accent. He looks like a much older version of my brother, except with red hair and a moustache. He left early to go on a date with a woman from Galway he said "becomes beautiful after I've had a few drinks."
My dad's family is pretty damn Irish.
My dad peed off the hotel balcony and strategically hid garbage around our room to entertain and challenge the cleaning ladies. He puked out the car window on the way home.
My aunt Annie used to have a split personality named Jessica. She left Jessica in New York with Rocky Horror, clubbing, roller skating in basements, her "special incense", and my dad's trunk of vinyls and a cast net. Even though my grandpa finally caved, Annie's still happy living in sin.
Aunt Lynn still calls me Coco.
My grandpa knocked over the gravy and blamed it on Joan. He had been driving on the sidewalk because he can't see but still wants to drive.
Everyone did a good job seeming like nice people. My family's basically angry and on drugs, but we got along these past two days, keeping up tabs on the present and telling stories about funny and assholish capers of the past.
I was almost right.
I started out on a chair, but it was rather small and uncomfortable, so I retired to the floor. I did sleep on the floor, but only after failing at sleeping in a wicker armchair.
My brother was being a Reilly. He took the couch.
There were 29 of us on Thursday.
I have a new grandma. It's a huge surprise and not a surprise at all. They had been engaged for 28 years.
And my dad's aunt's husband's sister's daughters both married black men. That's why his cousin Karen never warmed up to my dad's nigger jokes. But Karen and Jody are really nice, even if they feel bad for not being a "hug, I love you" family (none of us are). And Heather is awesome. She and her husband used to be in the armed forces in Bosnia. Now they're vegetarians with interests in fitness, Wal-Mart, Bill Maher, and real estate. Hence, my parents found it easy to talk to her.
My second cousins Chris and Mike both have bands. My brother played some things on his violin, then Grandma's old accordion.
Since I don't have any real estate, diseases, dogs, boyfriend, experience in Catholic school, or particular musical talent to talk about, I didn't say much at all.
My great-aunt Dot offered me this huge glass of Bailey's.
Her 18-year-old son was drinking beer after beer starting at 10 in the morning.
Cousin Paddy still has an accent. He looks like a much older version of my brother, except with red hair and a moustache. He left early to go on a date with a woman from Galway he said "becomes beautiful after I've had a few drinks."
My dad's family is pretty damn Irish.
My dad peed off the hotel balcony and strategically hid garbage around our room to entertain and challenge the cleaning ladies. He puked out the car window on the way home.
My aunt Annie used to have a split personality named Jessica. She left Jessica in New York with Rocky Horror, clubbing, roller skating in basements, her "special incense", and my dad's trunk of vinyls and a cast net. Even though my grandpa finally caved, Annie's still happy living in sin.
Aunt Lynn still calls me Coco.
My grandpa knocked over the gravy and blamed it on Joan. He had been driving on the sidewalk because he can't see but still wants to drive.
Everyone did a good job seeming like nice people. My family's basically angry and on drugs, but we got along these past two days, keeping up tabs on the present and telling stories about funny and assholish capers of the past.
